Author: Unknown to us, but obviously a Mom to someone
You Know You're a Mother When....
1. You hide in the bathroom to be alone.
2. You have barely enough time to shave one leg (or just part of a leg) at a time.
3. You count the sprinkles on each kid's cupcake to make sure they're all equal.
4. Your kid throws up and you catch it.
5. Someone else's kid throws up at a party. You keep eating.
6. You consider finger paints to be a controlled substance.
7. You've mastered the art of placing large quantities of pancakes and eggs on a plate
without anything touching.
8. Your child insists that you read "Once Upon a Potty" out loud in the lobby of Grand
Central Station and you do it.
9. You cling to the high moral ground on toy weapons; your child chews his toast into
the shape of a gun.
10. You hope ketchup is a vegetable, since it's the only one your child eats.
11. You can't bear the thought of your son's first girlfriend.
12. You hate the thought of his wife even more.
13. You find yourself cutting your husband's sandwiches into cute shapes.
14. You can't bear to give away baby clothes - it's so final.
15. You hear your mother's voice coming out of your mouth when you say, "NOT in
your good clothes!"
16. You stop criticizing the way your mother raised you.
17. You donate to charities in the hope that your child won't get that disease.
18. You hire a sitter because you haven't been out with your husband in ages, then
spend half the night checking on the kids.
19. You use your own saliva to clean your child's face.
20 You tell your husband you are going "potty", then realize you are the only two
people in the room.
21. You find yourself telling your departing guests "night-night" instead of good night.
22. You say at least once a day, "I'm not cut out for this job", but you know you
wouldn't trade it for anything.
Cheerfully distributed by: Jerry W. Huvelle
The Motherhood Humor Man
Series #9,000 to #9,999